| get ride of heartache and cure cancer too |
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« Saturday, March 25,2006 at: 4:52 pm »
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so yesterday was HORRIBLE, im dying in school and i just want to go home but no one can pick me up cuz their phones are all off and their at the hospital with my mom, so they went in having to cut out one thyroid but had to take them both, and it turns out they were cancerous ( i cant spell), and she was supposed to be home this mornnig but now they dont know when,and my grandparents called me when i was in stoskys class, and he was an ass to me and i wanted to die!!then i had work which was okay, and then i hung out with jenn nicole meg and pheldman, and i honestly love my friends and am so lucky to have them, im fine tho i think, i mean god would have to be an ass to take my mom from me after taking my aunt uncle and grandma within the last year, and zoloft has left me feeling numb to everything so far so yeay for being and empy shell of a person, and grr i have work again in like 2 hrs and work tomorrow, i guess yeay for being busy
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| valentines |
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« Wednesday, February 15,2006 at: 3:04 pm »
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so i had work last night and i come home and my pete surprised me with a rose a cards a box of chocolats, and ORANGE SODA,,,smart boy cuz the key to my heart is def. orange soda its my favortite lmao, and he mad em really happy whent a nice guy, so my valentines was good for once right...not.... last year on valentiens i had my grandmas wake, and on this valentines my uncle henry died, like i havnt had enought ppl die from my family in the past year, wtf why does this happen to me just when we finally move on we get aonther lose, one after another after another like god stop fucknig with me, well iv come to relize that theirs only one certanty in life its that everyone dies eventully, im such a cynic right now dont mind me. well it looks like the family reunion thats been in the plannig for 2 years for this spring is gonig to have to take place in heaven sarcasim, im in such a bad sad mood and ugh my birthdays comming up, which im not looking foward too too much becasue i kno my twin willl be a bitch to my mom and my mom will cry and then ill be sadder and grrrrr life suckssssssssss x a million
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| !@#$% BIRTHDAYSSS...09o the irony of dying on it |
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« Wednesday, January 4,2006 at: 8:50 pm »
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ugh like a mounth and a half till my birthday !@#$%, and idk what to do, but i wanan do soemthing funn to make up for the horrible birthday last year when i didnt do ne thing got nothing and um my twin ditched me for everr, and im not looing foward to it at all at the moment, thonknig aobut it makes me sad cuz i fucknig miss my fucknig sisterr who i dont even kno ne more or ever see or ne thing, and our birthday w/out hers jsut gonig to make me wanan kill myself so i have t od soemthing funn so i dont like committ suicide ...0o the iron of dying on your birthday, ne one have ne suggestionss on what i should do for my birthday?? ideas would be greatly appriciated
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| good by of five ffucking finallyyy |
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« Saturday, December 31,2005 at: 3:26 pm »
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The Year 2005:
[PEOPLE]
1. Best friends? i jsut have acuatences how ever its spelt
2. Best boyfriend/girlfriend? nope
3. Lost any friends? yes
4. Gained any friends? yessss!!!
5. Met a new good friend? no
[PLACES]
1. Went out of the country? no
2. Moved? noo
3. New school? no
4. How many times on an airplane? None, this year
5. Road trips? i went to band camp that was it
[YOU]
1. Have you changed? yes- alot.
2. New look? yess
3. Any new additions? nope
4. Biggest conflict this year? Drama.
5. Most depressed time this year? when i buryed my grandma on valentines day, when my twin abondoned me on our sixteenth birthday, when my aunt got sick and died, when my uncle got sick and died,when my dad got me nothing for christmas, & a stupid boy
[L O V E]
1. Did you fall in love? grrrr yess but no
2. Did you get heartbroken? it was broken to begin with
3. Who was your summer love? yes like 4 guys pimpett
4. How many boyfriends/girlfriends this year? 1
5. Favorite date? all my drunken dates with jenn and april were the best lol
[SEASONS]
1. Favorite Season? Summer, lifeguard partiess, everything seems to work out in the summerr and then fall comes grrr
2. Least favorite season? Fall, yuck.
3. Good birthday? HORRIBLE to say the least.
4. Any snow this year? A little.
5. Highest temperature? it didnt matter i was lifeguarding, it was hot at band camp tho
[FINAL QUESTIONS]
Snuck out- idk i just kinda walk in and out my front door as i please i dont really have to sneak lol
Met a person who will change ur life: no
Kept your resolution- no
Got arrested- Nooo
Had a first something- yes
Drank Alcohol- haha thats an understatment
Smoked weed/drugs- nope
Did anything illegal- probably
Kissed a boy/girl- of course
Had a crush- yes
not to be a downer but this past year had alot more pros then cons i hate life and if o6 isnt better i swere to go im dying...heres my year
Liked someone who didn't like you- nope
Lost a family member- i lost three of them this year... god hates me and takes everyone from me
Got bad grades- no
Got suspended- no
Moved states- No
Got on myspace- yes
Learned an instrument- learned guitar more
Started a band- no
Spent over 1 million dollars- no
Went streaking- hahah yea
Done something you shouldn't have- lmao yesss
Kept a secret- yess.
Told a secret- dont think so
Done something you totally regret- no regerts i had fun... and good girls go to heaven, but band ones get to go to vegas.
Changed your view on things- yes
XoxO
Danielle
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| ba humbug!!! !@#$% i need vodka!!! |
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« Sunday, December 25,2005 at: 11:34 am »
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it really doenst feel like christmas, i have no christmas lights on the outside of my house, my tree went up this morning???, my mom lost all the stockings ne way, so i dont even have those, and santa forgot to stop at my house, my twin sister has abondeded " my family" and wont even come over today, and my dad doesnt care enough to come see me and chris, not like he bought us christmas presents ne way, i hate holidays like i loath them, thir just a reminder of what i dont have, and i hate how materialistic this holiday has become, i didnt get presents but thats not even what thsi stupid holiday is about its about the miricle of christ and family, and its rediculous it tured into greedy teenagers getting loads of unnecessary things, and how the rich spoiled brats are gonig to have a whole nice enw wardrob when their current one was fine, and its not even liek heir good ppl who deserve gifts they deserve cole most of them but they get poresents and the good ppl who give back to the community who work hard get good grades get nothing, but its not even about that like idc, but christmas in supposed to be about family, which makes me hate the holidays, becasue it makes me misss my aunt uncle and grandma so much, like god what did i do to you to get so much lose in one friggen year and on top of that have my twin gone and not even anting to spend christmas with me her twin grrrrr !@##$% i need vodka
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« Tuesday, December 13,2005 at: 5:28 pm »
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i wish i could tell everyone the truth about whats really been going on like how im not the only one sinning and going to hell, but i cant becasue that would get the other ppl/person in trouble, mabe even break something, but w.e hate me i kno its all on false convictions ne way
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| new jobb |
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« Friday, November 18,2005 at: 6:08 pm »
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woohoo new jobb at Old Navy $8.50 and hour not bad not bad, and i got a new bowling ball the other day woohoo
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| shoot me |
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« Saturday, October 22,2005 at: 9:13 am »
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mood |
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 pessimistic |
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i cant take life, seriosuly, god what have i done wrong to youseriously, and i dont think i could take ne one else dying, and dont continue reading...im venting, and i dont want to here 0o i just want ppl to feel bad for me so WARNING dont read ne more if you dont want to here me vent. i miss my twin, my aunte and grandma who died, and now my uncle joe died this morning but he was brought back to life, but they dont think hes going to live, i cant take it, im like on the egde of like a mental breakdown, ppl leaving, people dying, i feel so fucknig alone,i absolutly hate life, and jsut when im starting to weell not get over my auntes death but move on, someone else is going to die too, no fucking way i hate you god if you do this, and like in a way i know my uncles in alot of pain and suffering right now and he should go to be put out of his misery, but on the other hand why does their have to be so mcuh uffering, and in the world in general, like i kno the whole the giver book, were you need pain and suffering so that theirs happyness and stuff but like idk it seems like theirs alot more suffering in the world then happyness, and for once in my life id like soemthing to work out good for me in the end, i jsut want to be happy, i hate lifeeee
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| Andy Warhol is GOD |
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« Wednesday, October 5,2005 at: 10:02 am »
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mood |
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cynical |
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music |
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Barlow Girl |
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I broke something today, and I realized I should break something once a week...to remind me how fragile life is.
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« Thursday, September 29,2005 at: 6:03 pm »
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i love life so much right now, like seriosuly wow life is so friggen awesome, and im so glad im living, life life life ....life if fucking amazing
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« Sunday, September 11,2005 at: 11:53 am »
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so last nght i played the most intense game of monopoly of my life!!!! lmao im serious
ne way schools kinda weird, i guess im not use to the fact that we are juniors and stuff, and were not the youngins ne more, having no warnnig bells and only 4 minutes btween classes sucks balls tho... ne way, colorgaurd is awesome im so glad i joined, and i can't wait for compititions, im kinda scared tho, ne way, yesterday i went to the mall with holly pop...i friggen love her, like so so much, 0o yea and she bought me a hat from steve and barrys and it says band camp onit....haha woohoo, k well i have to go finish cleannig out my dressers and stuff... woo who like 6 weeks till i get my new furniture... haha my sister can go fuck herself for being greedy lmao...cuz it works out better for me in the end becasue shes a fag, theirv created a greedy monster, she never calls me, and when she does... its hey i want my fill ni the blank, w.e i dont evn care ne more, she can have all the clothes that i own too ill jsut go out and buy new lmao ug she pisses me offf so much
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| she will be loved |
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« Wednesday, August 31,2005 at: 6:33 pm »
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sry i forgot how to do a cut lol
Baby cousins baptism
Ellie Rose... so f-ing adorable, its so sad she cant/will never hear
her big sis... Lily Grace
Lily sleeping in the car... while i wait with her and miss the hole christening lol, at least shes qt
yea i dont feel like posting more pics... enjoy
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« Tuesday, August 16,2005 at: 9:17 am »
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mood |
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 depressed |
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music |
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wake me up when september ends |
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here comes the rain again falling form the stars, drenched in my pain again... becomming who we are ... wake me up when this WEEK ends, i cant take all these goodbyes, everyone form lifegaurdings leaving, my brother who dar i say i will miss will be gone when i come back from camp, i didnt thin id be so sad that toms leaving for the navy, but i was crying all fucking night, and almsot everyone whos made this summer awesome is leaving or gone already, and my aunts memorial service is tommorrow and thursday, which means i finally have to relize im never gonig ot see her again, plus i have all the stress of my ap fucing shyte, im not oging to make it thu this week, i hate life, i ctake it ne more, i g2g to work now... great, shoot me pleasee
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| TOH Lifeguard prom |
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« Thursday, August 4,2005 at: 9:04 am »
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 crazy |
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music |
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SWEET CAROLINE!!! good times never seemd so good |
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So last night i had my lifegaurd prom... forsomething that was set up as a joke, and it actully happedn, and it was sick. and i would be clost without april friggen greene for helping me get ready, and letting me borrow her dress lol, i love you...0o yea i had the pretty-est dress, and i wone the worst tan lines lmao, um lifeguards are sick and love to party, and the open bar that wasnt checking ids was fucknig amazing, SEX ON THE BEACH is AMAZING!!!! and i will marry jack daniels, and rumm and long island iceteas, and i love liquor so much, but yeay for not getting hammered and controling myself lmao, well actuly i drank alot but it didnt really fuck me up lol...talking abotu fucked up that was me tuesday night at my " crew Dinner" lmao... k well heres some pics</p>
krista, mary ( chris's LT) and i ... haha i wish i worked at azalea teir fucking sick lol...and you g2 loe marys sequence 80's dress lmao
Tasha, natalie, and i
Eric and i ... haahha hes GONE!!!!
Michelle and i... EXPRESS SWIMMERS <333333
Cathrine and i ....BLUEGRASS CREW 05!!!! and EXPRESS SWIMMERS <33333..0o yea and speacking of bluegrass crew, the lt at jereselem told me i work at bluegrass because tom and edd ( old guys head honchos lol)...only pic the pretty grils to work their...hahaha it was so funnie lmao
Dana, me and RYAN ( my brother in law)... they work at ANCHOR w/ my dana...and he married my sister last summer... mock of course lol!!! but their so nice <3333
My Captain and I lol... matt fortes my "ROLE MODLE"
Me and MATT ( my date)...hes such a nice guy too...giving me his drinks when doug kept taking myn away from me because i got trashed the other night( tuesday) and he took car of me, and he didnt want me to get trahed again lol, but woo not getting drunk not smashed...i dont want to be drunk disoriented deloosional danielle like tuesday night...and 2 saterdays ago lol 0o geez
matt walsh and i ... him doing the " danielle face" lmao
robby and i...right b4 he pukedd lmao
Katie and i
seth and me lmao...im almost as black as him with my tan lamo...0o jeez my tna lines tho are hilarious
tuesday night!!!
jennifer fucking mackkkkkk and i
kimm me and jenn ( MY LT)
 andrea and i...horrible pick, i was trashed...then she punched me out, and i got her back...lol..i love her, it wasthe 0o im really sry but you have t go to sleep im ganan make you pass out punch hahaha now thats a true friend lmao
 haha everyone lmao... with yamakas on their head
 this is how lifegaurds do lmao... yeay rescue mask!!!
 anthony and i
cathrine and i...and falornios middle finger lol...express girls are bad...lmao <333
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« Thursday, July 21,2005 at: 9:28 am »
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so ne way last night was actully amazing, despite my last entrie, i fucking luv my crew, so last night we had the TOH scavenger hunt, sounds lame like little kids looking for eggs on easter... fuck no, like seriosuly its alot of fun, we came in second!! not bad considering we lost our key phone person, none of us were of age, and we decided to play witihn the last 5 minutes of work yesterday, we got every single small thing, and we were the only ones to get a picture with john hightner ( retired lifegaurd). we got a pic of a midget on a bike lol, janis and michelle made out, and mike fallorino and matt walsh made out, matt walsh and natalie went skinny dipping, i bought condoms, a cucumber an extramly big one and some jelly stuff all at once, and all the small stuff liek bowling pins, size 13 bowling shoe ( left shoe) ... pic of 2 crew meemnbers kissing a toco bell employee haha, ...a boob imprint in a jar or peanut butter, sombraro, pink umbrella, feirein currency, a snorcle, an non demesticated animal--> a frog named albert who david captured when me walsh and natalie whent skinny dipping...0o yea did i mentinoed on the way back form the beach we got stopped by 8 cop cars, well it wasnt for us but we were flipping out cuz matt was naked, and natalie was jsut in her bra, and they didnt think that was odd???????? lol, ne way mabe ill put the pics up, but idk cuz some are naked lol
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« Wednesday, July 20,2005 at: 9:10 pm »
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shoot me |
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music |
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let it be- the beatles |
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r.i.p i miss you so much aunt margie, so remeber when i went to cali for my birthday last year, well i lost both the cameras, and magicly found one after a year and a half monday morning, so mom got the mdeveloped that day, and i find pics with my and my aunt, iv never been so sad in my lif, and i fucking wish i could be in cali wih my mom right now at the wake, i wish we wernet fucknig poor and could afford more plan tickets cuz this is rediculous, then shes geting cremated, which i think is morbid, ne way theirs gonig to be a service here sometime in august, and half her ashes are being buried with her biological mother who died when she was 5, ne way i kno this probably weird, but if ne of my feriends would like to come, you dont have to ,but idk i dont want to be their with just my family who will jsut make me sader with remeber whens, but idk if ne one would like to come, wow im so weird, nothing seems real ne more, please wake me from this fucknig nightmare i hate life i honestly do, and i wish i could be in cali with my mom right now, cuz it breaks my heart to hear her cry on the fucknig phone, she doesnt desere this shes such a good person who helps out everyone andprays for everyone, and all this shyte with my fuccking " sister" not talknig to her and treating her like shyte for no reason, and my dad being a dick to her, and she works really hard, and to loose her sister, and at first shes still looking on the brightside saying well now everything in court will go my way with my big sister watching out for me, how do you be that possitive after just hearing she past?...and she doesnt deserve me as a daughter, i wouldnt go out with her and chris for dinner that night she died becasue i couldnt deal with everyones remeber whens, i dont want to remeber, it hurts way to fucknig much, ah i jsut want to fucking sleep for fucking ever and never wake the fuck up, and gah i hate life, and i kno someone whos gone thu this shyte lossing her aunt, but she wont return my calls, and i feel so empty, and like its never gonig to feel right again, and its not like i can say that to my fuckni shrink without them friggen giving me more shyte that makes me just feel nothing, that makes me feel dead, i dont want to feel sad but thats better then feeling nothing i think and i dont kno ne more, life sucks so fucking much, i miss you so much
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« Thursday, July 14,2005 at: 7:59 pm »
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this is what i HATE...wtf do you say in times like these, everyone says im sry...you didnt do ne thing to be srry for, and what do i say to my mom who just lost her big sister, what do i say to my sister who wont talk to my mother...i told her that i should have been the one to lose a sister today, but then it makes me sick i sed that cuz i love dana, i just hate how shes acting and shye, and today at work i was like should i just tell them so i can go home cuz i definatly shouldnt be gaurding lives crying, no one knows what to say, and its liek well what arw you suposed to day, i hate it i hate it, and i hate life and i dislike god with a passion for the time being, and i just keep rambling on about nothing, idk what to do
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| isnt it ironic...dont you think |
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« Thursday, July 14,2005 at: 6:49 pm »
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mood |
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dazed |
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on a bright note... another new baby cousin... Margo ...its not spelt like that,and i dont kno the right spelling...but thats how it sounds and thats how its normally spelt...idk my uncle kenny and aunte carolyn pick odd names theodore margo nicholas ...well nicholas is normal, but theodores named after his grandfather on my auntes side...and Margo named after my aunte margie who died this morning, which is scarey that someone dyed and someone was born in the same family on the same day, isnt that fucknig ironic and im just rambling on, im sry, my aunt margie was fucknig awesome...she was a hippie lol who always gave me the best and funniest advice... even funnie then my moms advice which almost isnt impossible...dont do heroine and never do it up the ass... she was a nutt i fucknig love her, and i cant beleive im never going to see her again, i went to work today, and i guess chris called the captain and told him so he could go home, and then my captain made me go home... thank god i sleept all day, and i hate waking up andcomming bck to reality, and i love the first few minutes when you wake up and your like todays thursday and god fucking damm it im never going to see her again...0o yea and i have an evil twin who wont call my mom back, my poor mom, i hate my family, and im never talknig to my dad again, and i hate life and i jsut want to sleep foreverr, and shes being cremated? so i dont even get to say goodbye, i loath life, but i hope everyone else who bothered to read this is swell and had a good time at the tbs concert last night, and wow i forget what i even wrote in this thing now..im going to miss you so fucknig much, i cant belive this is happenning it doesnt seem real, and that if i call her up in a few minutes ill still hear her voice and we'll talk like we normally do, and shell call my a little shyte jokingly..and call my little miss erica cane...from all my children..cuz she alway use to say me and my mom were spiled rotten, my aunte wasnt, and all her christmas gifts were hand made...like dream catchers or necklaces which were always my favorie to open cuz i knew it would be soemthing differnt and out their, god i cant belive this is happening
why!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| the best night of our lives |
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« Wednesday, July 13,2005 at: 8:45 am »
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music |
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jessies girl-rick springfeild |
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so last night it started off eating icecream lol, first of all they didnt have cakebatter...cuz some fat ass got sick from it, so they have cookie batter? now tell me wtf is the difference????????? k then sowere sitting outside coldstone thinknig wow were so fucknig bored...and guess who calls us... the thane of fucking levitt himself. so then we started walking to "Zanadoo"? lol and then the thane picked us up, then were jsut chillin and someone mentioned a pool, and um i like them and so does april, and im a lifegaurd so it was all safe lol, and im the idiot who jumps in fully clothed...so espo gave me his shirt...:: thanks lol::, then we went to 711, then most everyone went to watch movies except for shein and espo who took us to the beach lol. haha i love rockin out in the car with my 2 favorite ppl in the whole wide world, so we went to the beach and went in the water...but its okay im a lifeguard lol and then we ate mc-d's cuz its the only thing open really late/ early, then we decded not to go to sleep cuz we would never wake up, and i have work today and im ganan die so you should all coem visit me!!!! and thats that, wow i fucking love april greene and jennifer gunther we have the best nights everrr...woohoo
we smell sex and candy vodka
XoxOz april, jenn, and danielle
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« Sunday, July 10,2005 at: 9:36 am »
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i fucking love this summer and work...friday it was rany and cold...and we didnt have to sit on the stand? thats a first, and we sat inside all day and at sushi and chinese food lol, and talked about our sex stories and drunken nights?? haha 0o man everyone i work with is fuckin insane its awesome. Then friday night me and mike watched donnie darko...that movies so strange but i love it. Yesterday at work it thundered so we closed and we had to clean the bathrooms, which is actully alot of fun???? lol, cuz it was jsut a massive soap fight and mops thrown everywhere and you kind just had to be their. Then last night was miss jillians sweet16 bash, i love you soulmate happy birthday!!! and i saw steph!!! shes my role model lol, and i talked with ashley who i havent talked to in a while, gahh i wish we were still close like 2 summers ago,then i went home and chris was having a party, and holly came i fucking love that girl, and that was funn, except for the big whole in my wall from ppl trying to get the ping pong ball during beer pong geez lol. i talk to billy fama? who tried to pick me up?...ewww, not even if i was drunk, and i kind owe joe cardone back cuz i drank his beers lol, but in my defense i was the one who had to clean up after them so i deserved it. and ne way, i have work again today, but i cant complain cuz its so much funn, and my 1st pay chcks ganan be like way over $1000, i cant wait for tuesdayy, then tonight i have koppens sweet16 which should be interesting
i love you koppen happy birthday to you too
i have pictures form jills pary and the fourth but i havent had time to put them up, mabe on my day off...---> tuesday!! woohoo
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sassafrasjinx13's journal
